What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is not merely a case of your dog whining or whimpering when you leave the house. Dogs with separation anxiety have full-blown episodes of panic and distress when you leave your home – to the degree that they will do anything to get to you, including escaping from a kennel and chewing through a door or drywall. Here are some signs to look out for:
Persistent and anxious whining, howling, barking, pacing, digging, destruction, and escaping that typically only happens while you are not home.
If your dog is entering a highly aroused state when you leave or when separated from you, this may not yet be separation anxiety, but if you do not take steps to reduce their level of arousal, it is likely to develop into full-blow separation anxiety.
What causes Separation Anxiety
There is no definitive identifiable cause for separation anxiety that we know of. Evidence and experience indicate that dogs who feel insecure about being able to be on their own are more likely to develop this. This can be provoked by not providing your dog with enough opportunities to be away/apart from you in situations where they feel secure. Often this anxiety is associated with a specific person and/or place. They may exhibit this behavior in one location and not exhibit it in another. For the reasons above, separation anxiety can typically only be cured in your home, with the person they are most attached to present. This is not training that I do as I do not do house visits or in-home lessons.
Events such as a change of family, being neutered or spayed, change of primary caregiver, or change of residence can all be contributing factors to insecurity and anxiety. Just like raising a child, if you are an overbearing helicopter parent who always ensures your child feels safe and never allows them to feel uncomfortable with or without you (and subsequently forcing them to learn how to deal with that) then your child, or in this case your dog, will develop anxiety due to insecurity whenever you are not around.
These are all reasons why we always suggest the following:
Do not put your puppy’s kennel in your bedroom. They should ideally have their own room, away from the living spaces of any other occupants of the house (although all the dogs can be in the same room together, they should just have some separation from the humans - particularly parents and children.)
Do not allow your dogs to sleep with you – especially as puppies.
Helicopter parenting a dog, letting them sleep in your bed or in your bedroom inevitably leads to unhealthy attachments where a dog does not learn how to feel secure being independent.
Principles
Training to overcome separation anxiety requires two techniques: normalization (to being alone) and counterconditioning (i.e., changing the dog’s conditioned reaction from negative to positive). This is done by changing your dog’s state of mind when you are leaving and absent from a negative experience to a positive or at least a neutral (relaxed) one.
Remember that any time you touch or talk to your dog or your dog sees you looking at it, you are amplifying its emotional state. Look at your dog out of the corner of your eye; don’t let it see you looking. When they are exhibiting anxiety or aroused/stimulated behavior, do not look at them, touch them, or talk to them.
Be very cautious about the use of an e-collar when you are doing these training sessions. While in some limited circumstances of mild separation anxiety, an e-collar could be used on a low setting to distract your dog from what it is fixated on, you easily risk making the problem worse. It is best not used during this type of training and certainly should not be used in moderate to severe cases.
Interactions with your dog should be very calm and low-key. It is preferable not to talk, touch, or look at your dog when you are leaving and/or returning. Think about how you can make leaving as pleasant as possible for the dog in a way that does not associate that with you. Also, keep greetings with people boring and low-key. Everyone should Ignore your dog until they are calm.
Times when you are leaving should be pleasant, and times, when you return, should be neutral.
When leaving – drop some food or a treat for your dog. A stuffed Kong that takes your dog time to eat is a great choice if your dog has progressed to the point where it is relaxed enough to eat it. If you have a moderate to severe case of anxiety. The use of a remote Treat dispenser can be helpful in counterconditioning.
When returning – you should ignore your dog until your dog has fully relaxed. If not, wait at least for a count of 20 full seconds without barking or whining before any interaction. If your dog is being kenneled while you are absent, do not let your dog out of the kennel immediately upon returning home. Wait for your dog to calm down and relax first.
Never yell at, scold, or punish your dog during this type of training. You will only make things far worse.
A major goal during the training is to ensure that your dog does not have a full-blown negative reaction – this will be a setback. This means that during the time when you are dealing with separation anxiety, you will not be able to leave your dog alone except during your training sessions. You must find alternative arrangements for your pet to be cared for if you plan to be absent.
This process will likely require several daily sessions on the weekends and at least a couple of sessions every day during the week, one in the morning and one in the evening.
Preparation
Monitoring
I strongly recommend buying an indoor Ring camera that you can use to monitor your dog’s reaction as you perform the counterconditioning. You will, however, need to put a thick piece of tape over the lights on the front so that your dog does not build an association with the lights.
Positive Reinforcement
I find that using a Kong and a remote food/treat dispenser (that has a remote control with some distance and/or a timed release of a few seconds per dispense) can be pretty helpful. During my board and train, we may use the Treat and Train device to reinforce engagement. I have seen a combination treat dispenser / remote camera on Amazon that looks promising, but I have not used it myself. It also seems to have a remote dispense function on the camera within a mobile app (cool), but again, I have not used it myself, but it looks promising; your mileage may vary. If you leave and your dog chews on it (which is a real risk b/c chewing is a calming activity for dogs) then you will not want to use a remote treat dispenser. I typically use a kennel for this type of training so the dispenser would go in the kennel with the dog.
Using a Kennel
Depending on your dog’s reaction to being kenneled, it may be best to put your dog on a place cot instead (You may need to back tie them so they cannot come off.) If your dog is panting heavily, has excess salivation, or is trying to escape the kennel by pushing through the bars or chewing through the sides, try putting your dog – back tied – on a place cot instead. I suggest trying the kennel first to limit destructive behaviors and only moving outside the kennel if it really really helps. I highly suggest you not use a wireframe kennel with a dog with separation anxiety. They will try to escape it and, in the process, are at significant risk of injury, including death.
For our recommended kennels, please see the following article:
Mental Exercise
This type of training is best performed once your dog has become mentally exhausted. If your dog has been through our board and train program, I suggest spending enough time (>=30 minutes) performing training reinforcement activities with your dog until it exhibits signs of mental fatigue, such as an open mouth with the tongue hanging far out of its mouth, a constant desire to lie down, etc. Once your dog is mentally fatigued, he/she will not have much mental capacity to expend on being anxious. Don't underestimate the power of this technique in this process. This can make all the difference between getting through this in a few months or needing to do this for a year or longer. The key here is Mental Exercise, not just exercise. Just letting your dog run around playing fetch or taking them on a jog will not have the intended effect and may be useless to the process. The dog's mental capacity must be expended through something they are forced to think about (exercising instincts doesn't count, so if you have a GSP, taking them out to find/point birds is not going to do the trick.)
Medicating
Before medicating a dog, please consult your vet. Medicating your dog may or may not help. In moderate to severe cases, it can help your dog learn to be relaxed (while medicated) and have a pleasant experience while you are gone. Sometimes, however, medication may not help – if a dog still feels highly anxious but cannot control its body, anxiety may increase. Even if the medication works, when you stop medicating your dog, its behavior is likely to revert to the previous state. For that reason, it is preferable you do this without a dog who is being medicated.
Treatment for Mild Separation Anxiety
The goal for mild cases of separation anxiety is to use counter-conditioning to help your dog associate your leaving and absence with a positive experience. This process can be used only if you can leave your dog alone for at least 10-20 seconds or more and they do not exhibit severe signs of distress.
Every time you leave the house, offer your dog something they love. This can be a favorite puzzle toy that will hold their attention for a time or a treat inside something like a Kong that will take at least a few minutes for them to eat. One strategy for extending the time it takes to finish a Kong is to 1, not feed your dog breakfast separately if you need to leave and instead soak your dog’s kibble in water until it becomes soft, then stuff it into a large Kong and cap it with something very tasty like peanut butter, cheese, canned dog food, etc. and then to put it in the freezer until it is firm (but not necessarily frozen all the way through.)
When you return home, remove the toy or Kong and any unfinished treats so your dog knows they only get them when you leave. This only works for mild cases, as highly anxious dogs, will generally ignore treats and toys once you leave.
Treatment for Moderate to Severe Separation Anxiety
This requires a far more complex process, during which it's critical to gradually accustom your dog to being alone. Start with short durations that don’t produce anxiety and gradually increase the duration over many weeks of daily sessions.
The following process is outlined below. It may be helpful for you to find a trainer who will come to your home and is an expert in curing severe separation anxiety. This process can be complex and requires a degree of skill and a good understanding of a dog’s body language and stress responses. Obedience training and this type of behavior modification are quite different.
Fear and anxiety must be avoided, as you can make things worse. The training can only progress in conjunction with your pet’s reactions, so it is vital that the person conducting the training understands canine body language, and that is partly why we recommend getting a monitoring camera.
Step One: Pre-departure Cues
Your dog may start to become anxious when you are getting ready to leave. If this behavior has continued for some time, your pet may have learned to associate your getting ready to leave with your absence. It may start pacing, panting, drooling, whining, or barking when it notices you putting on your shoes and jacket, getting your work bag or school backpack, etc. If this doesn’t happen, then go to step two below.
If this does happen, then you are unlikely to be able to leave, even for short amounts of time, without triggering an extreme reaction. If so, your dog will need to learn that these things do not mean that you will leave. Start this process by pretending you will leave (do all the same things you normally would do), but then do not leave. Instead, do something else: sit down and use your smartphone, computer, or tablet. Watch TV or make something to eat. Ignore the dog during this time. The amount of time it will take to reverse your dog’s reaction to these cues somewhat correlates with how long your dog has had to practice them. It may take many weeks, if not months, to counter-condition this step. Once your dog doesn’t become anxious when he sees you getting ready to leave, you can move on to the next step below.
Step Two: Graduated Absences
Throughout this process, your absences must be shorter than the time it takes for your dog to start to react. If you cannot be out of your dog’s sight, even within your own home, then start in your home by going into a different room, where they cannot follow you. This is a good time to practice staying in place on a cot where you can monitor your dog’s reaction via your monitoring camera. Remember to make the leaving and returning low-key and not touch, talk, or let your dog see you looking directly at them.
Gradually, over many sessions, increase the duration of your time in the other room out of your dog’s sight. Even if you can be out of your dog’s sight within your home, it may be helpful to practice this inside before you go to an exit door. You want your dog well prepared for when you use the door you usually leave by, as anxiety is likely already attached to that door. It is best to choose a door far away from any doors you usually exit by. Once you use an exit door, you can start incorporating very short absences into your training.
Start with durations of only a few seconds, then slowly, over successive sessions, increase the time you’re out of sight. As you do so, monitor your dog’s reaction via your ring camera.
Once you have worked up to ten to twenty seconds, offer your dog something they love as described in the process for mild separation anxiety. This needs to be done immediately before you exit. Once you return, you can retrieve the Kong or toys after a couple of minutes. If you have a remote treat dispenser and your dog will eat the food or treats when you have left, then by all means, dispense a continual stream of food to associate your absence with something enjoyable. Be sure that your dog is completely relaxed before you do this. Before repeating this process, you must again wait until your dog is relaxed. If you leave when your dog is still aroused, you will undo any progress you have made thus far.
Remember to keep leaving and arriving times calm and low-key. Please do not talk, touch, or allow your dog to see you looking directly at them.
Increasing durations
Increase the duration of your absence slowly. You may need to progress as slowly as 5-10 seconds each time. It is important that your dog is not reacting to your absence before you begin this phase. How fast you can progress depends on your dog, and progression will not always be linear. The time you can be away may not always be the same either. Sometimes, you will need to return to shorter times before moving forward.
One of my sayings is, “Slow is fast.” The slower you go, the faster you will progress to the end of this process. If you try to move too quickly, you’ll do more damage and take far longer to complete.
Watch for signs of stress when determining your dog’s level of anxiety. These signs can include dilated pupils, panting, yawning, salivating, trembling, pacing, and over-excitement on your return. If you see these signs, return to shorter durations until your dog relaxes before trying to move forward.
This process may take weeks or months of multiple sessions a day. You must do it every day, but I wouldn't do these exercises more than 4 times a day. 3 Is probably a sweet spot.
Once you have built up to 40-minute durations, you can accelerate the durations by up to 5 minutes at first, then 15-minute increments later. Most of your dogs’ anxious reactions will happen within the first 40 minutes.
Once your dog can tolerate being alone for 90 minutes, you can quickly move to four to eight hours; however, before doing so, test this by doing four hours a couple of times at first and then work up from there to 8 hours over a few days.
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